Lady
by ElusiveMuse89
Summary: Bruce meets Jack's Lady.


"Really, Jack? You're afraid of a little smoke? Carjacking was _your _idea!"

"It's not just smoke! It's _exhaust fumes!_ Do you have any idea how many deaths it caused back when vehicles ran on gas?"

"Vehicles still run on gas!"

"...You mean I'm still stuck in the dark ages? I'm going to _die_ of_ suffocation_ over and over and over and over and-"

"Excuse me this is the twentieth century!"

"-over and over and over- twentieth century? Still?"

Bruce sighed. Here they were in the middle of the street, arguing over which vehicle they were going to borrow to get out of London. Bruce felt self-conscious wearing nothing but the coat Jack grudgingly let him wear ("This is a one-time offer, so don't expect it again. Bring a change of clothing next time you want to go green!"). All he wanted was to get inside a car and away from the curious stares of passerby, but no, Jack just had to flip out when he saw smoke coming out of the tail pipes of passing cars.

"What do you mean _still_? It's been the twentieth century for _decades!_ How long were you stuck with Torchwood?" Bruce retorted.

"Since 1899. That's not the point. The point is-"

"1899? Really?" Bruce studied Jack carefully. "You don't look a day over thirty!"

Jack shrugged. "What can I say? I age well."

"Can we just pick a car and get in it already?"

"What?" Jack yelped. "I was just telling you of the dangers of exhaust fumes and now you want me to get _in_ one of those death traps? Do you have any idea how combustible those tin boxes are?"

"Plenty of people survive driving," Bruce said through gritted teeth. "We're wasting time here. Now pick a car and let's go."

Jack scowled. "Fine. But if I have to get in one of those things, it can't be a big one. I'll go with... that one!"

Bruce squinted at the tiny car Jack pointed out.

"What? No! I'm getting claustrophobic just looking at that thing! Who even owns those things? They're a disgrace to vehicles! And it's far too conspicuous-"

"Okay, then, that one!"

Jack pointed at a bright red sports car.

"You really love conspicuous don't you?" Bruce grumbled.

"We're stealing a car. That's conspicuous no matter how you look at it. And aren't you a bit obsessed with that word?"

Bruce bristled. "We aren't _stealing_ anything," he retorted. "We're _borrowing_ it. I suppose you have some brilliant plan for breaking into it?"

Jack grinned. "Lady!" he announced.

"Did you seriously just call me a-" Bruce broke off as he suddenly felt something crawling down the sleeve of the coat he was wearing. With a startled squeak, he jumped back as a large spider dropped out of the sleeve and onto the ground.

Jack bent down and picked it up and announced, "This is Lady. Well, Her full name is Lady Vixen, but she prefers to be called Lady."

"She prefers to be called Lady," Bruce repeated in disbelief.

"Hello, Dr. Banner," a female voice spoke up."

Bruce's eyes widened and he stepped forward for a closer look. He realized that the "spider" was entirely made of metal.

"It's an AI. I built her myself," Jack said proudly. "I modelled her main form after one of those multi-legged insects you find on Sol 3."

"Spiders," Bruce stated.

"Yes! Spiders! Amazing creatures," Jack sighed.

"She's-really nice- but how is this going to help us?" asked Bruce.

Wordlessly, Jack set the metal spider on the hood of the car they had just agreed to use and said, "Let us in, would you, Lady love?"

The spider- Lady- scurried along the body of the car until her metallic body was resting directly on top of the lock. Bruce heard a faint whirring sound, then a click. With a dramatic flourish, Jack opened the door and said, "Thy carriage awaits! You're driving."

Bruce slid into the driver's seat, and Jack slid into the seat beside him. "So, do you want to hotwire this thing, or would you prefer Lady to start the car?" asked Jack.

"Whichever one is quicker. The owner could be back any minute," Bruce mumbled. He tried not to shudder as the spider-bot crawled across his legs to situate itself on top of the ignition. A moment later the car started, and Bruce pressed down on the gas pedal.

Bruce felt himself finally begin to relax slightly now that they were on their way out of the city. "So, any Starks when you come from?"

"Ye-es, a couple of them," Jack said slowly, cautiously. "Why do you ask?"

Bruce nodded his head at Lady. "That technology reminds me of them," he said.

Jack was silent for a moment. Then he said, "I'm from what you would consider the future, so there is a lot I can't tell you, in case it changes the past- I mean, the future- or would that be the present? Ugh, timey-wimey. Anyway, the Stark cousins did provide me with the materials to build the first prototype- Lady started out as a boring globe- but the rest of it was all me. I make improvements whenever I can." Jack cocked his head curiously. "Which Stark is in charge in this time?" he asked.

"That would be Tony Stark," Bruce replied. "What else can she do?"

"Fingerprint recognition, voice recognition, she can hack into any kind of technology- as long as it isn't more advanced than 51st century technology- she can pick up radio waves and satellite signals- she has an internal camera so she can record things- and other things," Jack smiled in pride. "And she is still a work in progress. My next upgrade will enable her to shoot lasers- as soon as I find the time and materials."

"She's amazing," Bruce said in awe. "She's like a miniature R2D2."

"R2D2?" Jack repeated, frowning. "I'm not familiar with that term."

"Really? You're from the 51st century!" Bruce said incredulously. "How can you not know Star Wars?"

"There are thousands of wars that have happened by my time!" Jack said defensively. "You can't expect me to remember everything I learned in history class!"

Bruce bit back a smile. "'Star Wars' is a movie trilogy," he explained. "And also a book series. I think. I'm not really up-to-date."

Jack flushed. "Oh," he said. "I should have known that."

"Once we're out of London, is there anywhere in particular you want to go?" asked Bruce.

"Cardiff," Jack said at once, without hesitation.

"Any particular reason why?" asked Bruce.

Jack smiled, staring off into the distance. "That's where I'll find my Doctor," he said softly.

* * *

**A/N: Um, yeah. I just had to include some sci-fi elements to the series. **


End file.
